Hahahahaha! It's Tuesday

Things that made me laugh out loud today:

You Will Never Be This Happy!


Back Seat Drivers Don't Bother Her Anymore!

 The blog:  Fetch My Flying Monkeys  (read today's entry -- the whole blog is great, but today's entry is really good)

Some people are just way too smart for their own good (like a lot of people who claim to be educated).  Take this good old joke, for instance:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.  After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute.  “Well,

• Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
• Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
• Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
• Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
• Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. 

“Watson, you idiot!” he says.  “Someone has stolen our tent!”

It could only happen in  the US:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

And finally -- given enough time in retirement phase, I might become the philosopher:

A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it's no good trying to outrun it; it's catching up”.

The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”