Wednesday, May 07, 2008

No! No! Never!

My granny used to say, "Never say never . . . because that's the one thing you'll certainly end up doing." Here's my list of things I believe I'll never agree to do:
  1. Buy a new car -- they simply cost way too much in proportion to one's salary and they depreciate way too rapidly the moment you drive them off the lot.
  2. Make my own bread -- kneading is just not a satisfying activity for me and it takes way too long; I like immediate gratification.
  3. Sing in an opera -- even the ones in English are much too complicated but mostly my voice sucks, I can no longer memorize much of anything, AND most of them are in foreign languages, none of which I speak.
  4. Eat a seal -- blubber is not appealing on any level, but in my mind would be the picture of that baby seal with it's pleading eyes raised to the brute with the big club.
  5. Compose a melody -- even a simple one is beyond my meager abilities.
  6. Do a strip tease -- with this body you MUST be joking!
  7. Bunge jump -- I have no active death wish.
  8. Run a marathon -- I have boobs! Very substantial boobs! I would put out my own eye, not to mention what would happen to my back.
  9. Bow down to corporate power -- I'm still the wild child of the 1960's at heart.
  10. Live with any other housemate than the current one (Hubby) -- as an only child I don't share well.

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