Sunday, July 15, 2007

Being Happy

It’s odd being happy. Oh, this isn’t the “utter elation every moment of the day” happy, but I am happy. This is more than content. For many years, in my “business” life, I was content. Moments of great happiness occurred, but mostly, I what I felt was contentment with my life.

This year, and especially this summer, I’ve felt happy. This is a deep down appreciation of just how good my life has become. I have recognition that I’m blessed with many precious things. I know what isn’t perfect about my life, but I also know that when balancing the good against the bad, I am extremely fortunate right now.

Maybe it takes a whole heap of pretty dreadful things, all of which we survived, to trigger recognition of what happiness is when you finally come out the other end. Last year, 2006, from April to August, life was pretty dire for us. Hubby’s health, my employment, and all the uncertainty that both problems were causing made me feel that life was skidding out of control. When I read what I wrote about last year, I can feel the deep dread I was experiencing at that time. It’s almost more than I can handle, even today.

This summer, however, has been really special, maybe the best one of my adult life. I did what I wanted to do. Oh, sure, I didn’t do everything my heart desires. I didn’t see Venice and ride with Hubby on the Grand Canal. In fact, we never left town. The top shelves of the kitchen cabinets haven’t been touched – and I haven’t cleaned the living room since . . . well, let’s not go there. I haven’t written a single lesson plan for the fall. But what got done was productive and beneficial for both the house and our lives. I didn’t stress myself out over what managed to get accomplished on our “to do” list. I’m not upset over what we didn’t get done. There’s time. What a blessing it is to be able to say “there’s time.”

Next week I start back to school, not on an every day basis, but a workshop here and there until we start in earnest in two weeks. Tomorrow Hubby begins his series of knee injections. Tuesday I start major dental work. Friday I help out a friend. Workshops are Wednesday and Thursday, then again on the 30th and 31st. I’m secure in that I’m going back to a job I like – and that I’m really good at. I’m going to work with people I basically respect. My salary is more than acceptable and my benefits are decent.

I sit back and look at my life, just as it is today, and know that I’m happy. How could you ask for more than that? The dogs are healthy and frisky. The house is still standing. Hubby is puttering about; finding things to do that entertain him. He’s not as happy as I am, but he’s still in recovery mode. I hope one day he, too, can realize just how good we really have it.

Last year I wondered whether the glass was half full or half empty. This year I think the glass is full, if not exactly over-flowing. How precious it is to feel happy for an extended period of time, to know that things are going good, and that no matter what the future holds, I will have this time to look back on and cherish. I feel happy. That’s a really important statement to be able to make. I feel really happy.

1 comment:

snugpug said...

After not hearing from you for so long, and knowing that you and hubby have medical appointments slated for the time you're out of school, I'm so happy to read you're happy. :)