Thursday, January 03, 2013

Waiting, More damned waiting.

 The pacemaker was implanted yesterday.  The surgery was much longer than I had anticipated but went beautifully.  Hubby said that besides the "two old women who shave my private parts" there were 14 people working in synchronized harmony throughout the five hours the implant took. 

Yesterday he was pretty dopey. Because of fear of bleeding, they would not allow him to get out of bed or move around.

This morning he was plenty sore and even took heavy duty pain meds.  I've never heard him moan and complain as he did when they first asked him to sit up in bed. 

The x-ray (or something or other they did this morning) showed that the pacemaker was perfectly positioned.  He aced the test to see if it was turned on and tuned in.  The incision is actually a thing of rare beauty -- small, perfect, not even much inflammation. 

But.  And it's a big BUT.

Hubby's cretintine levels are way low.  His blood pressure continued to rise all day. It was really high by this evening.  

The cardiologist decided not to release him until we can get control of his bodily functions.  We're in a holding pattern.  Again.

I so wanted this to be the solution we had been working toward the last three years.  It may still be -- but.  BUT.

I just want to cry.  


Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Looking Backward and Summing It Up

 2012.  A watershed year for our family. 

We quietly turned the corner from the down-hill slide of middle age to old age.  Our health problems are proof of that. 

 
We also went from vital full-time or part time workers to stay-abed, wallow in exhaustion folk with chronic illness.  I retired from full-time teaching (and maintaining SPED certification through college courses) while Hubby became too disabled to work at the odd jobs he had so enjoyed for the last 20 years or so.  Needless to say, I'm far happier with retirement than Hubby is. 

We gave up private insurance to become those people the Republicans hate so much:  Medicare recipients sucking on the government tit. 


Financially we went from people who saved like crazy so we COULD retire to happily spending our meager funds to supplement our retirement income. We even finally hired a financial consultant to manage our dwindling funds. 

Instead of a husband and wife who each had one primary physician, we began a family having specialists in all kinds of fields:  pulmonology, cardiology, orthopedics, opticians, dieticians, nurse practitioners, physical therapists.  We gave up separate GPs to share one between us because it made scheduling doctor's appointments so much easier. 

We became people who could travel 12 months of the year if we chose, instead of scheduling limited vacation time around employment contracts and college class schedules. 

Wendy and me at the Chesapeake Bay beach house in September
We gave up extended TV watching to become people who went to the gym three nights a week.  Now that one was quite a change. 


Instead of being a triple threat group of couples when we went to the local concerts, we because a double coupling plus one when we lost a dearly beloved friend in the spring.  I miss him every single week, even though I actually only saw him every month or so.  His death seemed to herald a downturn in health for all of us.

Nancy and Tom at our 25th wedding concert
Music began to vanish from our lives.  Once Hubby could sing like an angel but his frozen larynx made carrying sustained notes impossible, as did his racing heart.   He could no longer sit through full length concerts and we left the few events we did manage to attend at intermission every single time.  Makes the purchase of two tickets hardly worth the money.  

Hubby directing church choir
 We tried to update the 1953 bungalow by reinforcing the foundation, adding new siding / guttering, and landscaping by pulling out the ugly bushes around the property.

Guys on the right of the property are carrying in the guttering which is also laying on the front lawn. 




Now we are looking forward to 2013, counting our blessing and holding tight to our family and friends.  On the second day of the new year -- tomorrow -- Hubby enters Research Hospital hoping to erase some negative health issues and making things better for himself and those around him.  This could also mean a new life for us if we approach it in the right way.  Watershed years aren't negative ones -- they just indicate turning points.  

Monday, December 31, 2012

We Made It to 2013

Christmas was wonderful.  We spent December 21st walking by the Gulf of Mexico, eating sea food, soaking up brilliant sunshine in 78 degree weather.  My soul was soothed.  Then we spent the rest of the time hugging and laughing and playing games -- for seven full days. 

 We wish each of you great joy -- perfect peace -- and abundant health -- in the New Year!







Tuesday, December 18, 2012

And May All Your Christmases Be Bright!

Taking a little break until the New Year!  Until then . . .


Monday, December 17, 2012

These are a few of my favorite things

A few of my favorite holiday things:

1.  Memories.

Remembering the Christmas tree at Grandma's house with the presents piled high around it.  Walking up on Christmas morning knowing that Santa had left me a "special" gift but that also all the stockings for everybody in the family had been filled with silly little trinkets.  Daddy going off to work at the Kansas City Star and counting the minutes until he would get back home around two p.m. so we could finally have dinner.  And then -- PRESENTS under Granny's Christmas tree.  Granny's sister, Aunt Frances, coming from Laramie, Wyoming for the best week of the year. 

Me, Granny, Grandpa, Mother, and Dad -- Aunt Frances always took the pictures -- probably around 1960.

As an adult, the best Christmases have been at Wendy's house in Houston. We arrive at her home after an 800 mile drive to find the tree decorated and the nutcrackers all in place. As a family, we spend Christmas Eve wrapping the presents that have come from all over, laughing at the amount of gifts, even though every year we swear we are cutting back.  Hubby makes fruit salad and potato salad for Christmas dinner.  And after the presents and the Christmas food, we Go to the movies on Christmas night with Wendy's friend, Cynthia. 

2010 -- Nutcrackers in Houston

2.  Music.


I love singing Christmas carols.  For many years it was listening to Hubby sing the Messiah and going caroling with whichever choir he was directing.   Now we play Christmas CDs all the way across Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas and have a marathon sing-a-long with the varied artists.  Wherever we visit in Houston, Wendy,. Hubby and I sing all the verses of whatever carols we can remember. 

Hubby is in the foreground -- directing; I'm 3rd from right with my head turned away from the camera -- 2004 at our Christmas pageant / play

3.  Christmas Eve.

There's something so wonderful about the expectations of the day/night before Christmas.  The anticipation makes it all the better believing that every dream might just come true.  As a kid, my mother always had Christmas Eve dinner and I could choose the menu.  It never varied -- meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, jello salad, Granny's nut bread made only on Christmas, and then we'd pass around the boxes of Christmas candy that each family made that year. Granny made fondant, Aunt Frances brought a nutty type fudge, and Mother made brittle covered in chocolate.  Plus we always had a variety of cookies.  And then -- the best dessert of all -- we'd serve up tiny plates of my father's family recipe of suet pudding covered in hard sauce, a true Welch delicacy.  After dinner we'd stuff the turkey and after the turkey was complete, we'd fill the stockings, mine among them -- but Santa's gift was always a surprise on Christmas morning. Granny, Grandpa, and I would end the evening at church with me singing in the youth choir of the year.  No carol is more lovely than Silent Night sung at midnight in candlelight. 

Christmas eve dinner at our house -- Dad has his back to the camera, to his right is his mother (she died in 1954), then mother's father, mother, Granny, me -- and people I remember so clearly but have no idea how we were related -- the Paterson family (Betty, Pat and his mother -- from Colorado); Aunt Frances is, of course, taking the picture. 
Now, we usually wrap the presents from KC on Christmas Eve.  Now-a-days, I buy the gifts on-line and have them mailed throughout the year to Houston.  Wendy loves beautiful wrapping and even has a room upstairs partially dedicated to wrapping implements.  I'm most likely to dump things in sacks or pre-wrapped boxes but we always manage quite an array under Wendy's tree.  

2010 -- gift and nutcracker array in Houston
Music, Christmas Eve wonder, and the memories piled up from my 66 holidays -- these are the treasure of my yuletide.  Our family may be very, very small -- but I'm eternally grateful that through all my years, I only had to survive one Christmas alone.  Presents, festive decorations, beautiful music and traditional foods are all wonderful things that make Christmas special.  But family is the glue that holds the Christmas album together in my memories. 

Wendy, Hubby, and Gussie getting ready to enjoy Christmas morning. 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Christmas Greetings 2012



"I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!" ~ Anonymous

When we wake up each morning, it is to give thanks:   to see another morning sunshine; to share another meal together, being able to eat it anytime we feel hungry; to hear two pups clamoring for “walkies” in the big park just a few blocks away, to be able to cocoon in our own home; to bank social security checks on a monthly basis; to hold hands when we venture to the movie matinees; to stay in contact with friends via social media on our Nooks, Kindles, laptop and desktop computers; to share vacations and holidays with beloved family. 

This was a year of change for me when I retired in June 1, 2012.  For 45 years I had left home in the early dawn hours to attend school; for 16 years I had gone to an “office” job, usually working huddled in a cubicle doing the bidding of other folks.  It was an amazing change to suddenly find myself free from lesson plans, multitasking, 20 minute lunch breaks, enforced schedules, bathroom breaks not on my body’s schedule but regulated by a bell system, and often meaningless tasks that did not contribute to the good of mankind.  

For Will this was a year of trying to rebuild strength and restore a healthier heart rhythm.  After two years of heart problems, leading to two frightening bouts of congestive heart failure, after ten years of failing joints due to egregious arthritis especially in his knees, and a general loss of agility and strength caused by the heart, the arthritis and aging in general, Will found himself unable to maintain the level of activity he had expected in his own senior years.  He tried to take the pain and inactivity in stride, but often found himself frustrated and cranky.  

In December we learned that he is a perfect candidate for a pacemaker which we have scheduled for a January 2 install.  We hope and pray that that his incredible team of doctors are correct in that this will give him renewed energy and stamina. For him the New Year promises to bring some of the happy changes I garnered in 2012 when I retired.

We traveled three times.  One was a short two day jaunt to Branson, MO to shop the outlet malls; we only stayed overnight and didn’t take in a single show.  In the autumn, we traveled to Williamsburg, Virginia.  Will’s sister, Wendy, flew across country to meet us and we drove through the Chesapeake Bay area, finally landing back in Annapolis at Will’s brother-in-law’s wonderful beach house directly on the bay.  Unfortunately, Will’s dwindling health made the trip less successful than we had hoped, but we enjoyed the time together, watching ships sail past on the Bay while playing Hearts on the beach house veranda.  Soon we will take our third trip, the annual Christmas trek to Houston.  It wouldn’t be Christmas if we didn’t get to spend time with our favorite family member, Wendy.  

Sweet Gus, eight going on eighty, had all his teeth except three removed during 2012.  At first he was highly disgusted with both the vet and us for taking his gnawing canines, but eventually the lack of infection and pain in his mouth brought the gentle boy around.  Little Luie, the blind Schnauzer, continued to bump and romp his way through life, making sure both his papa and mama got plenty of park exercise, whether they wanted it or not.  

We met with many and varied doctors this year.  Twice Will was hospitalized in Research.  He underwent hundreds of tests.  I also got my own Medicare card and chose my advantage plan. We offered up huge thanks to the Medicare Gods that continue to fund all this medical mumbo-jumbo.  We joined the Research Medical Center Brookside Campus Health and Fitness Center.  Will had his own physical therapist while I participated in water aerobics three times a week in the best pool in the city (water temps are never below 86 degrees).   Most weeks we had at least one doctor’s appointments; often it was two or three.  Still, each time we were met with more information and a clearer picture of how we should proceed.   

The old pink Lincoln continued to run.  The bungalow on Lydia got a foundation boost and new siding, windows, and gutters.  We donated all our business clothes to the City Union Mission Thrift Store.  Will happily surrendered his chef’s hat while I labored to cook three meals a day without salt.  I continued to blog fairly regularly at Milly’s Muse and both Will and I have Facebook pages where we catch up with old and far-away friends.  We joined our KC friends in attending a few concerts but Will’s health prevented us from our usual enjoyment of the classical music season that has bloomed in our city with the opening of the Kauffman Center for Performing Arts.  

Our friends and family have been incredibly supportive during 2012 and we certainly owe them a huge “thank you” for all the love (and special dinners) they have offered up with open arms.  Our doctors have worked individually and as a team to see that our health concerns are both acknowledged and acted upon.  We feel incredibly lucky that we are able to go into retirement with hope that our future will be long, happy, and healthy.  

Blessings, peace, joy, and keep the faith –
Will, Melissa, Gus, and Luie



September 28, 2012 – Will, Wendy, Melissa celebrating Wendy’s birthday at High Tea in Annapolis, Maryland

Danger -- Revisited

This is the assault rifle used in the Newtown, CT holiday massacre.  This is a gun that was in the boy's home!

In 2007 I posted about sharing with my classroom what we would do if our high school was invaded by gunmen. 

Five years later, nothing has changed -- except we keep practicing "Code Blue" alerts in our schools -- stranger alerts to tell students that danger has invaded.

We don't actively worry about gun control.  We don't discuss it during political campaigns.  We allow the gun lobby to spread money through our political system to make sure we can have assault rifles and high powered hand guns in our homes and unstable people can easily gain access to them.   

And we continue to let children die.

Please reread -- and tremble -- at my 2007 post: