Wednesday, April 30, 2014
I'm in a dry spell. No, actually it's a super drought.
My brain is empty. My personality has evaporated.
Can I go to back to bed now?
I don't want to do it -- whatever it may be.
My energy is non-existent. Doing anything other than curling up in bed has become a chore.
I go to water aerobics three times a week and think I'm going to die in the pool -- but I go so Hubby will not have an excuse to stay away. The water, usually my favorite environment, is just cold and wet -- not soothing and comforting.
I'm unable to concentrate for more than a couple of minutes at a time so I son't read, except People magazine and Entertainment Weekly -- you know, the gossip stuff. Real literature is just too much effort.
Is the TV on? Okay, I'll watch it -- even the infomercials. QVC actually has some interesting stuff for sale.
Napping with the dogs? Perfect day.
Go get a hair cut? Not worth the trouble.
Leave the house to meet friends -- haven't had a hair cut.
Motivation? Lapsed. Not just unmotivated; I'm demotivated.
Depressed? No, not really. Just blah. Blah, blah, blah.
Maybe the precise description is discouraged? Well, no, not really. Just more blah.
Writing on the blog? Miss doing it but can't seem to turn on the computer. Even email has become an effort. What if someone wants to actually get a response from me? Better to say I've just not been reading email at the moment. And if they want to meet in person -- back to the hair cut thing.
Nothing wrong; just blah.
Doctor has prescribed "integrative therapy" at a center for integrative therapy. Actually this is a fancy term for what is called “complementary and alternative therapy.” He thinks acupuncture, acupressure, massage, naturopathic medicine, and other "creative" therapies may help. Whatever. It's all just blah, blah, blah. First appointment is May 5th. Maybe I'll get a haircut by then and actually leave the house. Maybe because I've announced here that I actually HAVE an appointment I'll keep it.
Maybe. The Google Fiber network might be running a Bob Newhart retrospective that day -- I wouldn't want to miss it.
Monday, April 07, 2014
Cooking has become a huge stumbling block in our lives and I'm really frustrated. He won't drink Ensure -- don't bother suggesting it. He will eat ice cream but he can't have that at every meal. Friends took us to Avenues Bistro in Brookside for brunch on Sunday and he happily consumed a pretty good-sized omelet covered in Swiss cheese -- but he tells me he doesn't like Swiss cheese and to NEVER use it at home. What? A friend brought him a chocolate cake and he loved that but if I tried to pair it with a cup of homemade chicken soup or a tuna salad, he would only eat the cake. The other night he actually ate half a raw English cucumber as his meal.
I'm not a very creative or inventive cook -- I'm more the yeoman type. I produce sturdy, fairly healthy meals --but they aren't pretty things to admire. I'm good with Swiss steak, smothered pork chops, meat loaf, baked potatoes, mac and cheese, baked or barbecued chicken. Basic foods. I don't bake but I can produce a good cornbread from the mix or open biscuits from the tube. I have never worked with yeast and I have no idea how bread really rises.
I make a nice sweet and sour pork casserole served on rice -- he used to love it because it contained pork chops cut in strips. The last time I served it he only ate the rice covered with the pineapple juice. He still loves baked beans and hot dogs -- but that plays real havoc with his digestive track at the moment. He got French fried and a Chicago dog at the movies on Saturday and spent the last 30 minutes of the Grand Budapest Hotel in the bathroom. His normal stand-by -- spaghetti -- is still a big spicy for the man recovering from gall bladder surgery.
I wish we could eat out more simply because I wouldn't have to come up with a balanced meal. But he doesn't know where he'd like to eat and frankly, we can't afford it -- the doctor bills are rolling in daily.
So this dry spell in Hubby's eating is very problematic all around. I have a meat loaf in the oven right now -- and it smells heavenly - but my best guess is that Hubby is going to think it's too dry and will have trouble swallowing it. And what to pair it with? He only likes mashed potatoes and gravy. Can this possibly be a healthy diet?
Finally, I seem to have little motivation to cook. Having fun in the kitchen kind of goes in spells for me -- I get all motivated and cook up a storm and then I have these down spells where anything beyond scrambled eggs or peanut butter sandwiches is drudgery. Naturally, my current down spell (probably caused by exhaustion from having spent most of March at the hospital) coincides with Hubby's eating problems.
Those 350 cookbooks I own are sitting patiently on the shelves, waiting for a "change of weather," a turn around in tummy and swallowing problems, and a spurt of energy / creativity. When the planets align we will dine again -- meanwhile, we just eat.